Great that your re drafting the logline and the work you’ve done on it. However please re post drafts of the same logline under the original discussion thread. That way its easier for reviewers to see what comments have been made already and not repeat others and also this way everyone can learn from the development of the logline over time.

As for this logline, I’m not sure what “…a godly athlete…” means, when read on its own, this logline could mean the story is set in ancient Greece. When I read “…a godly athlete…” first image that popped into my mind was Adonis arguing with Zeus for the truth about his family history… Though I’m sure this wasn’t the intention.

Further more “…struggles for answers…” is a vague description of the main action the MC takes because it can be interpreted as a variety of different actions and is really up to the eye of the beholder.

Lastly “…when he discovers his fugitive mother abducted him as a small child.” is an inciting incident that the MC made happen rather than had happen to him and most good inciting incidents happen to the MC out of their control. This means that an external force shifted the equilibrium of existence for the MC and the MC needs to take significant action to fix it.

Hope this helps.

The key for a pilot logline is to introduce an MC that will keep on encountering difficulty as a result of the conflict between their character and the situation the pilot puts them in.

In this instance you tap on that but don’t capitalize on all the potential for conflict in the premise and MC combo.
Try describing the MC using a contradiction in terms such as; a chef with out taste buds, a neurotic psychiatrist or a depressed clown. Then put them in a situation that in each episode would accentuate the problem at hand.

Hope this helps.