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"A disgraced father takes the helm of a dysfunctional baseball team controlled by overbearing parents and attempts to lead them against the cross-town rivals in the city championship."
NO HITMEN!???
NO HITMEN!???
See lessA gifted geneticist perfects the formula for increasing intelligence, but using it on his gorgeous but not so gifted wife he creates a cynical tyrant and his only competition for the Nobel Prize.
Yes you don't know the power of the logline... until used on your own story. In that case how about the II is when she announces her intent on wining the Nobel prize? little need be explained once he is presented with that prospect.
Yes you don’t know the power of the logline… until used on your own story.
In that case how about the II is when she announces her intent on wining the Nobel prize? little need be explained once he is presented with that prospect.
See lessWerewolf hunters discover an Alpha wants to eliminate them, and the veil?s pierced when their oblivious biochemist daughter realizes it?s her it wants.
Much better reads clearer and more efficient but still a tad bit confusing. As the mechanics of Werewolfism are not known by most the: "add her to its pack" seams out of place. From my memory of most Werewolf flicks it?s: kill the Werewolf or be eaten! Not: kill or be assimilated to the pack throughRead more
Much better reads clearer and more efficient but still a tad bit confusing.
As the mechanics of Werewolfism are not known by most the: “add her to its pack” seams out of place.
From my memory of most Werewolf flicks it?s: kill the Werewolf or be eaten!
Not: kill or be assimilated to the pack through an infectious morphing magic ability of the Alpha Werewolf!
Point is “Werewolf” alone spells monster, which equals danger, where as the exact mechanism of danger is irrelevant and perhaps best not to waist precious logline words on it.
In this instance I think the sophistication of the AN, the intricacy of the sub plots and the originality of the danger would be best elaborated on in the step outline or synopsis rather logline.
For the logline purposes focus on the MC that has an II and her goal is [insert heightened stakes] against the AN.
Just my quick little attempt:
After a biochemist loses her family to a pack of Werewolves she must fight to save the sole survivor her little sister from the Alpha Werewolf or be killed her self.
Hope this helps,
See lessNir.