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Werewolf hunters discover an Alpha wants to eliminate them, and the veil?s pierced when their oblivious biochemist daughter realizes it?s her it wants.
Agreed! Try breaking it down to the essential components of a logline/story. What genre? Who is the MC? What is the II? What does the MC want? Who is the AN? From the logline above it seams that it is a monster in the house story according to Blake Snyder with a multi protagonist plot. MC are the huRead more
Agreed!
Try breaking it down to the essential components of a logline/story.
What genre? Who is the MC? What is the II? What does the MC want? Who is the AN?
From the logline above it seams that it is a monster in the house story according to Blake Snyder with a multi protagonist plot. MC are the hunters II is the monsters chasing the daughter and the AN is the big monster (Alpha werewolf). All the MC’s collectively, want to stop the big monster.
It’s a wee bit messy and I think suggests incorrectly a multi protagonist plot. Consider perhaps changing the logline to one with a specific MC; one of the hunters, with a flaw; seeks revenge everywhere, and a goal; to save his daughter, with an equally illustrated AN; a genetically modified werewolf.
Hope this helps.
See lessNir.
A gifted geneticist perfects the formula for increasing intelligence, but using it on his gorgeous but not so gifted wife he creates a cynical tyrant and his only competition for the Nobel Prize.
Could make a great comedy. I don't think the II and antagonist are clearly defined more like insinuated: MC - Gifted geneticist. II - Him realizing the wife could get the Nobel prize. AN - Bitchy wife. Perhaps: "When aiming for the Nobel prize a downtrodden geneticist transforms his dim witted wifeRead more
Could make a great comedy.
I don’t think the II and antagonist are clearly defined more like insinuated:
MC – Gifted geneticist.
II – Him realizing the wife could get the Nobel prize.
AN – Bitchy wife.
Perhaps: “When aiming for the Nobel prize a downtrodden geneticist transforms his dim witted wife into a mad scientist and his only competition.”
tries an intelligence increasing formula on his dimwitted wife who in turn
See lessA young rookie cop responds to noise complaint that turns sour when the offender turns out to be a mentally disturbed drug addict that forces him to take a drug that allows him to see demons.
It reads like the way in which the demons are discovered and released are less important rather what is important is the cop fighting demons. Maybe try and use the victory over demons as the goal and the discovery regardless its device the II: "When a young cop discovers a portal for demons in a druRead more
It reads like the way in which the demons are discovered and released are less important rather what is important is the cop fighting demons.
Maybe try and use the victory over demons as the goal and the discovery regardless its device the II:
See less“When a young cop discovers a portal for demons in a drug addicted mental patient he must fight to stop the demons coming through whilst under the influence of drugs himself.”