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\"A withdrawn, abused and bullied teenager, does well to keep his various and at times genius talents well hidden from his tormentors. A chance meeting with a drifter however, changes everything.\"
Agreed with all the above comments, adding: 75% of the logline appears to deal with characteristic descriptions and back story of the MC before you mention the II "A chance meeting..." perhaps change the structure of the logline. At times this can reflect the structure of the story and according toRead more
Agreed with all the above comments, adding:
75% of the logline appears to deal with characteristic descriptions and back story of the MC before you mention the II “A chance meeting…” perhaps change the structure of the logline.
At times this can reflect the structure of the story and according to this the II happens close to end of act 2…
This isn’t a hard and fast measurement rather an indication as to the thoughts behind the story structure.
Nir.
See lessParanoid Harry, a shell-shocked lieutenant, is sent to stop a general gone mad, commanding a nuclear missile silo, before he starts world war 3.
Yes perhaps it should start with the stakes rather than the MC. The lieutenant is already in the silo when he discovers the general?s intentions and finds it hard to get the word out to HQ due to his condition (for which he was sent there in the first place...). "When a lieutenant discovers a generaRead more
Yes perhaps it should start with the stakes rather than the MC.
The lieutenant is already in the silo when he discovers the general?s intentions and finds it hard to get the word out to HQ due to his condition (for which he was sent there in the first place…).
“When a lieutenant discovers a general madly in command of nuclear missiles, he is forced to sacrifice him self in the struggle to prevent world war 3.”
Thanks Patrockable.
See lessEgotistical 90's band manager Steve Gold attempts to reform the modestly successfull boyband Xcite.
Try to define an obstacle for Steve as an outwardly force that will prevent him from reforming the band rather than a characteristic of his. This may help you shape a journey for him.
Try to define an obstacle for Steve as an outwardly force that will prevent him from reforming the band rather than a characteristic of his. This may help you shape a journey for him.
See less