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When a chauvinistic advertising exec gets the ability to hear what women are really thinking, he gets a shot at outmaneuvering the woman who stole his job.
I think you did a great job, Lars. I haven't seen the movie, but your logline captures the strengths of the concept. We would empathise with the character because of the injustice done to him. Not every main character is a sweetheart, you know... Well done!
I think you did a great job, Lars. I haven’t seen the movie, but your logline captures the strengths of the concept.
We would empathise with the character because of the injustice done to him. Not every main character is a sweetheart, you know…
Well done!
See lessA man raised in space, and taught how to be human by a Russian cyborg chimpanzee, must help Elvis Presley protect his time machine from a jealous alien hell-bent on destroying the galaxy.
Hi Jim, You got me smiling while reading the logline. But it's a hell of a lot to take in. Probably too much. We know a little backstory about our main character, but nothing about his 'character', i.e. psychology. First it seems that Elvis' time machine is the stakes (it needs protection), but thatRead more
Hi Jim,
You got me smiling while reading the logline. But it’s a hell of a lot to take in. Probably too much.
We know a little backstory about our main character, but nothing about his ‘character’, i.e. psychology.
First it seems that Elvis’ time machine is the stakes (it needs protection), but that’s immediately undone when it appears that the galaxy is at stake.
Also, ‘jealous alien’ raises more questions than it answers.
There is no clear inciting incident/catalyst to the story, either.
Finally, will we be able to empathise/identify with a man who was “taught how to be human by a Russian cyborg chimpanzee”?
All in all, I find it rather unwieldy. Can you reign it in, and focus on what is the core of the story?
See lessAn esoteric detective is recruited to find a pregnant woman?s killer, and a struggling rock and roll band holds the key to the mystery.
It sounds intriguing! Just a little, well... Mysterious. :) With esoteric, do you mean eccentric? The thing I'm missing in the logline is the connection between the detective and the rock & roll band. It feels like a fairly loose idea, and I believe any?connection could give it more focus.
It sounds intriguing!
Just a little, well… Mysterious. 🙂
With esoteric, do you mean eccentric?
The thing I’m missing in the logline is the connection between the detective and the rock & roll band.
It feels like a fairly loose idea, and I believe any?connection could give it more focus.
See less