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When a privileged na?ve young woman is attacked by an enraged lunatic accusing her of assassinating his wife, her sheltered world comes crashing down around her with the possibility he may be right.
I think this has good possibilities. Two things- the young girl needs an adjective/ flaw that hightens the mystery more, e.g. 'bi-polar' or 'paranoid' etc. Second- you have the protagonist, the inciting incident, and the antagonist but after that you need the goal and the stakes rather than the flufRead more
I think this has good possibilities. Two things- the young girl needs an adjective/ flaw that hightens the mystery more, e.g. ‘bi-polar’ or ‘paranoid’ etc. Second- you have the protagonist, the inciting incident, and the antagonist but after that you need the goal and the stakes rather than the fluffy line about her “world crashing”. A good start with real promise.
See lessIn a past life Raymond Red believed in reincarnation. But in the life he is living now, being reborn is not part of the program.
An emotionally appealing logline will link the protagonist, inciting incident, goal, antagonist and stakes and make the reader want to read more. You have hinted at some irony in your story which is good. Maybe heighten that (within the above formula) by saying he either didn't believe in re-incarnaRead more
An emotionally appealing logline will link the protagonist, inciting incident, goal, antagonist and stakes and make the reader want to read more. You have hinted at some irony in your story which is good. Maybe heighten that (within the above formula) by saying he either didn’t believe in re-incarnation only to find out it is real or, he did believe in it but he comes back as something VERY different to what he would have wanted for himself. Best of luck!
See lessCourtroom thriller set in the 90's. A young lawyer's family is put at risk when a persistent journalist convinces the World that his client on a manslaughter charge may be hiding a horrific identity, an identity that strikes fear into everybody.
I agree with the above. It wasn't clear the relationship between the lawyer and the journalist. As written it is also not imminently clear why the revelation would threaten the... lawyer? Look for a clearer way to state and link the protagonist, the goal, the antagonist and the stakes. Keep it up!
I agree with the above. It wasn’t clear the relationship between the lawyer and the journalist. As written it is also not imminently clear why the revelation would threaten the… lawyer? Look for a clearer way to state and link the protagonist, the goal, the antagonist and the stakes. Keep it up!
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