Have an account? Sign In Now
Lost your password? Please enter your email address. You will receive a link and will create a new password via email.
Please briefly explain why you feel this question should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this answer should be reported.
Please briefly explain why you feel this user should be reported.
RHSC (red-headed step child)
I'm going to shorten this a little. See how it looks: (This is shortened from your second alternative example up above) ----------------------------------- "After a fatal accident, bickering newlyweds become targets of a vengeful father and must work together to survive."
I’m going to shorten this a little. See how it looks: (This is shortened from your second alternative example up above)
———————————–
“After a fatal accident, bickering newlyweds become targets of a vengeful father and must work together to survive.”
See lessA teenager must confront the father she put in prison before he wreacks havoc on her life and ruins her first chance at love.
What event sets this story in motion. Why must she confront her father now, not a year ago, not a year from now? I think adding that to the logline will help give it some clarity.
What event sets this story in motion. Why must she confront her father now, not a year ago, not a year from now?
I think adding that to the logline will help give it some clarity.
See lessA young man accepts the body switch offered from a cult member in order to start a run away from his pregnant girlfriend and start a new life. Little did he knows that the new body requires constant supplies of human hearts. Meanwhile, his old body replaced him at home as cult members have their own plans with his girlfriend.
"...in order to start a run away from his pregnant girlfriend and start a new life..."That part of the logline is a bit clunky and I would consider revising it.---As for the logline itself. You have a good story in there somewhere. I would drop the hearts part of it honestly. It isn't needed.Here isRead more
“…in order to start a run away from his pregnant girlfriend and start a new life…”
That part of the logline is a bit clunky and I would consider revising it.
—
As for the logline itself. You have a good story in there somewhere. I would drop the hearts part of it honestly. It isn’t needed.
Here is an attempt, however, my attempt is probably a little clunky as well.
——————————————————————–
“When a commitment-phobic man accepts an offer to switch bodies, he must make the ultimate commitment and save the girlfriend he’s running away from after discovering the cult member in his old body plans to sacrifice her.”
See less