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When he receives his visa to the US, a struggling poet returns back home to resolve issues with his overbearing mother and confront the death of his terminally ill sister before departing his country.
How does receiving his visa relate to the rest of the logline?Your inciting incident should directly relate to a characters action. Here would be an example:"When his sister dies of cancer, a struggling poet returns back home to..."In my example, step A leads to step B, his sister dies and as a resuRead more
How does receiving his visa relate to the rest of the logline?
Your inciting incident should directly relate to a characters action. Here would be an example:
“When his sister dies of cancer, a struggling poet returns back home to…”
In my example, step A leads to step B, his sister dies and as a result, he must return back home. In step A of your logline, he get’s his visa to America, and then in step B, he must return back home. This doesn’t make for a good logline progression.?
Also, I don’t understand what you mean by the line, “Confront the death of his terminally ill sister” Does this mean she is already dead and he must come to terms with it, or does it mean she will soon die and he must come to terms with it? This should be clarified.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessWhen a botched spell resurrects their evil mother?s dead boyfriend as a sentient zombie, two supernatural teens, must keep their paranormal family a secret while living in a pleasant suburbs. (Series)
Honestly, I think this story would work better if the person they resurrected was someone they cared about. Now they must keep it a secret because they don't want anyone to hurt the person. But the person they resurrected keeps eating the brains of their neighbors. "Mom! Why did you eat Timmy's braiRead more
Honestly, I think this story would work better if the person they resurrected was someone they cared about.
Now they must keep it a secret because they don’t want anyone to hurt the person.
But the person they resurrected keeps eating the brains of their neighbors.
“Mom! Why did you eat Timmy’s brains!”
“I was hungry… plus Timmy’s always been a little brat.”
-My mother’s a zombie-
See lessWhen two robbers conspire to rob from their rich friend’s arts gallery shop, stealing and selling an ancient sculpture to a ghost arts collector. Their success only attracts an endless torment that taunts them and their families until they retrieve and return their friend’s mysterious artifact.
The logline should start with the theft, then what they do about it."After robbing their rich friends art, two tormented robbers must steal back and return the art to their friends gallery if they are to clear their conscience."btw dpg is correct, you need to find a way to make the lead characters sRead more
The logline should start with the theft, then what they do about it.
“After robbing their rich friends art, two tormented robbers must steal back and return the art to their friends gallery if they are to clear their conscience.”
btw dpg is correct, you need to find a way to make the lead characters sympothetic.
See less