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After a lifetime of putting up with her beautiful but vain twin sister, Maddy finds a way to pay her back in doses.
When a story begins, everything is normal. The leads life can be "all messed up," as long as that's the norm. Then something happens, an event that changes things and takes the character out of their normal routine. "After his daughter is kidnapped." "After her secret crush is mugged and falls intoRead more
When a story begins, everything is normal. The leads life can be “all messed up,” as long as that’s the norm.
Then something happens, an event that changes things and takes the character out of their normal routine. “After his daughter is kidnapped.” “After her secret crush is mugged and falls into a coma.” “After his best friend and his woman, leave him for dead and steal his share of the loot”
Your logline is missing that element.
“After a lifetime of putting up with her beautiful but vain twin sister” That’s the norm. If she’s put up with with her vain sister her entire life, Why now? What happened to make the lead want to “Pay her back”
Add that event, that “inciting incident” to your logline and it will improve dramatically.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessRE WRITE Prisoners escaping a galactic penal colonel make an emergency landing only to find themselves trapped,having to outwit a psychopathic,shape shifting android intent on re-enacting the twisted deaths from old horror movies.
You don't have a lead character in the logline. "Prisoners" isn't compelling. "An excaped prisoner who needs to get to his dying wife's bedside" however would be someone to root for. (Just and example)
You don’t have a lead character in the logline. “Prisoners” isn’t compelling. “An excaped prisoner who needs to get to his dying wife’s bedside” however would be someone to root for. (Just and example)
See lessA Harlem orphan must face the federal Government and the world's largest corporations after he mysteriously wakes up on his 18th birthday with $458 Billion to his name.
Well the good news is, this is a great set-up for a story. An orphan discover he's the richest man on the planet. It's just the What's next that is a bit confusing. Still great start!
Well the good news is, this is a great set-up for a story. An orphan discover he’s the richest man on the planet. It’s just the What’s next that is a bit confusing. Still great start!
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