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(1600’s, Action/Comedy) After losing his parents to bandits, Spaniard San?o and his servant Pan?o goes after a wild treasure hunt with the map San?o stole from the bandits.
It does seem weird his father's murdered and then the lead goes on a treasure hunt. You need to add an element to make the audience sympathetic to the leads goal. ----- "Following his fathers dying wish to discover the hidden pirates gold he buried, Sanco and his servant Panco must retrieve the treaRead more
It does seem weird his father’s murdered and then the lead goes on a treasure hunt. You need to add an element to make the audience sympathetic to the leads goal.
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“Following his fathers dying wish to discover the hidden pirates gold he buried, Sanco and his servant Panco must retrieve the treasure before the bandits who murdered his dad get to it”
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Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessWhen an illegal immigrant unknowingly films the murder of the star witness in a high profile drug case, he struggles to survive the drug ring who will do anything to keep him silent while under the care of a racist detective.
I like the premise but the lead in your logline isn't proactive. He "Unknowingly" films the murder and he "Struggles" to survive. He needs a goal. Perhaps get the video to a specific person or find a way to blackmail the leader of the drug cartel. Anyway, hope that helps, good luck with this!
I like the premise but the lead in your logline isn’t proactive. He “Unknowingly” films the murder and he “Struggles” to survive.
He needs a goal. Perhaps get the video to a specific person or find a way to blackmail the leader of the drug cartel.
Anyway, hope that helps, good luck with this!
See lessWhen a stern principal asks a new teacher to look over a specific child the new teacher finds herself in the middle of a family breakdown.
It appears that the teacher is the lead character, I would change the logline to reflect that. "When a new teacher is asked to look after a troubled but gifted student..." Always begin your logine with the lead if you can. Hope that helped, good luck with this!
It appears that the teacher is the lead character, I would change the logline to reflect that.
“When a new teacher is asked to look after a troubled but gifted student…”
Always begin your logine with the lead if you can.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See less