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When the insane dog terrorized the girls, Sarah, the youngest sibling, volunteers to venture out for help against the muted objections of the older girls.
This seems more like a scene from a story than an actual story. How about this: "After being trapped by a rabid dog, a young girl plays a deadly game of cat and mouse with the creature in order to bring help for her critically wounded sister." That's still a little bit fuzzy, but having one of her sRead more
This seems more like a scene from a story than an actual story. How about this:
“After being trapped by a rabid dog, a young girl plays a deadly game of cat and mouse with the creature in order to bring help for her critically wounded sister.”
That’s still a little bit fuzzy, but having one of her sisters injured or possibly dying, you give a more compelling reason for the girl venturing forth in-spite the danger.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessFour teenage urban explorers must walk six miles through the dangerous ruins of Detroit to reach a pay phone after getting robbed in the city?s abandoned underbelly.
Shades of 'The Warriors' (in a good way)
Shades of ‘The Warriors’ (in a good way)
See lessWhen his girlfriend goes missing, David must track down her whereabouts after he realizes she?s not who she was pretending to be.
A few little notes: First; I would start with the word "After" instead of "when." Not a big thing but it will help the logline. Second; (I have said this before) If you tell us a character "Must" do something, then you have to give us an "or else" otherwise the logline will seem incomplete. Finally;Read more
A few little notes:
First; I would start with the word “After” instead of “when.” Not a big thing but it will help the logline.
Second; (I have said this before) If you tell us a character “Must” do something, then you have to give us an “or else” otherwise the logline will seem incomplete.
Finally; if you tell us “he realizes she?s not who she was pretending to be.” It suggests other (more dangerous) people are searching for her well.
That would give you an “Antagonist.” for your logline, Someone dangerous who’s standing in the way of your protagonist achieving his goal.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
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