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An astrophysicist embarks on secret mission to create a new planet, hoping to end a global war before an enemy tribe turns his people against their own.
This logline is a bit confusing. I don't understand how creating a secret planet will end a global war. If it's a secret, how will it end a war? "Before an enemy tribe turns his people against their own?" this is also confusing, so they are going to turn his tribe against each other? So in the end yRead more
This logline is a bit confusing.
I don’t understand how creating a secret planet will end a global war. If it’s a secret, how will it end a war?
“Before an enemy tribe turns his people against their own?” this is also confusing, so they are going to turn his tribe against each other?
So in the end you have a lead character: An astrophysicist
A goal: Ending a global war,
And an action: A secret mission to create a new planet.
But I have no idea how those things connect and how that relates to and enemy trying to turn his people against each other.
If it was clearer on those points your logline would be better.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessWhen Sam Blake, a successful hitman, discovers he has a fatal disease he vows to never kill an innocent person again, but the only way a hitman retires is to sign The Agenda, a list of targets, and compete against other hitmen to see who can rack up the most kills…so Sam decides to eliminate the competition.
"When a successful hitman contracts cancer he vows to quit contract killing, but when he's given one last list of targets, he must take out his bosses top killers if he's to keep his vow."
“When a successful hitman contracts cancer he vows to quit contract killing, but when he’s given one last list of targets, he must take out his bosses top killers if he’s to keep his vow.”
See lessWhen Sam Blake, a successful hitman, discovers he has a fatal disease he vows to never kill an innocent person again, but the only way a hitman retires is to sign The Agenda, a list of targets, and compete against other hitmen to see who can rack up the most kills…so Sam decides to eliminate the competition.
I have a much better understanding of the story after this logline attempt, now your next step will be to cut the word count. (while keeping the essence of the story) Hope that helps, good luck with this!
I have a much better understanding of the story after this logline attempt, now your next step will be to cut the word count. (while keeping the essence of the story)
Hope that helps, good luck with this!
See less