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When a mysterious but overtly sexual bombshell begins crushing him at the local casino, a socially removed poker genius struggles to maintain his personal fortune, investors money and sanity under control.
Thanks for the clarification andrewclau. I thought you meant she was crushing on him. I agree with Lucius, Bombshell sets an image in your mind so overtly sexual is redundant. How about this: "When a mysterious bombshell begins beating him at poker, a socially inept gambler must find a way to overcoRead more
Thanks for the clarification andrewclau. I thought you meant she was crushing on him.
I agree with Lucius, Bombshell sets an image in your mind so overtly sexual is redundant.
How about this:
“When a mysterious bombshell begins beating him at poker, a socially inept gambler must find a way to overcome her charms or lose his investors money.”
See lessWhile on an extermination mission, Claudia finds her 8 yr old brother orphaned and marked for death. She defects to get him to a rumored safe haven if they can make it? in time. Big thanks to Cynosurer for the feedback
This is still a bit rough in the middle but I think you see what I am going for: "When her younger brother is marked for death, a resistance fighter must desert her mission and flee with her sibling to a safe haven before they are tracked down and killed."
This is still a bit rough in the middle but I think you see what I am going for:
“When her younger brother is marked for death, a resistance fighter must desert her mission and flee with her sibling to a safe haven before they are tracked down and killed.”
See lessWhen a mysterious but overtly sexual bombshell begins crushing him at the local casino, a socially removed poker genius struggles to maintain his personal fortune, investors money and sanity under control.
Not a bad start, I would try to shorten it a bit: When a mysterious bombshell begins to flirt with him, a socially inept poker genius must keep his cool or lose the big tournament.
Not a bad start, I would try to shorten it a bit:
When a mysterious bombshell begins to flirt with him, a socially inept poker genius must keep his cool or lose the big tournament.
See less