1. Posted: May 25, 2020In:

    A duty bound son must become the next guardian of a dangerous power.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    If you say 'must', you should give us the 'or else'

    If you say ‘must’, you should give us the ‘or else’

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  2. Posted: May 19, 2020In:

    In a post-civilization future, when an old project of reintroducing the human species on Earth is activated, a young 2.0 lonely human travels across the world, to be with others like him, just to end up disappointed with the new civilization being developed.

    Richiev Singularity

    I like the first part, a human 2.0 searches for life on Earth after civilization has vanished, then the Despot King and the eugenics program sort of comes out of nowhere. Also, I am not sure what, 'finds himself involved' means. does that mean he volunteers to be part of the eugenics program? Does hRead more

    I like the first part, a human 2.0 searches for life on Earth after civilization has vanished, then the Despot King and the eugenics program sort of comes out of nowhere.

    Also, I am not sure what, ‘finds himself involved’ means. does that mean he volunteers to be part of the eugenics program? Does he join it?

    In what way does the lead character get involved in eugenics along with the despot king?

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  3. Posted: May 4, 2020In:

    After being built as a cyborg by a fellow vampire, a young woman must race against time to kill vampires who tries to invade her town so that she can be human again.

    Richiev Singularity

    Your second attempt:"After being built as a cyborg by a fellow vampire, a young woman must race against time to kill vampires who try to invade her town so that she can be human again."---------------------------------------------I think the new attempt fixes a few of the problems of the original loRead more

    Your second attempt:

    “After being built as a cyborg by a fellow vampire, a young woman must race against time to kill vampires who try to invade her town so that she can be human again.”

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    I think the new attempt fixes a few of the problems of the original logline: but not all.

    1: I am not seeing why a vampire would want to make the lead character a cyborg: what is his motivation? (Unless it is a big reveal)

    2: I am not seeing why the lead character killing vampires would return her to human status (Unless her specific goal would be to save the only scientist who can transform her back to human)

    3: I am not seeing ‘what’ the ticking clock is, why must she race against time? She must defeat the vampires before (this specific time) or (This bad thing will happen). (What specifically is causing the ticking clock?)

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    Interesting premise, Cyborgs and Vampires I can’t remember ever seeing this combination before.

    With a little more work and a few specifics I am sure the logline will turn out as interesting as the premise

    ?

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