1. Posted: March 13, 2020In:

    When the town bully humiliates him, a mild-mannered cowboy sets out to reclaim his dignity, only to accidentally kill the man, and set off his violent outlaw family.

    Richiev Singularity

    You are ending the logline with what sets the story in motion. If the problem is the family of the bully he killed is after him, then the story begins when he kills the bully. "When he accidentally kills the bully who tormented him, a mild-mannered cowboy must now outrun the bullies family who has vRead more

    You are ending the logline with what sets the story in motion.

    If the problem is the family of the bully he killed is after him, then the story begins when he kills the bully.

    “When he accidentally kills the bully who tormented him, a mild-mannered cowboy must now outrun the bullies family who has vowed to kill him.”

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  2. Posted: March 12, 2020In:

    RHSC (red-headed step child)

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    I'm going to shorten this a little. See how it looks: (This is shortened from your second alternative example up above) ----------------------------------- "After a fatal accident, bickering newlyweds become targets of a vengeful father and must work together to survive."

    I’m going to shorten this a little. See how it looks: (This is shortened from your second alternative example up above)

    ———————————–

    “After a fatal accident, bickering newlyweds become targets of a vengeful father and must work together to survive.”

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  3. Posted: March 5, 2020In:

    A teenager must confront the father she put in prison before he wreacks havoc on her life and ruins her first chance at love.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    What event sets this story in motion. Why must she confront her father now, not a year ago, not a year from now? I think adding that to the logline will help give it some clarity.  

    What event sets this story in motion. Why must she confront her father now, not a year ago, not a year from now?

    I think adding that to the logline will help give it some clarity.

     

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