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A young man accepts the body switch offered from a cult member in order to start a run away from his pregnant girlfriend and start a new life. Little did he knows that the new body requires constant supplies of human hearts. Meanwhile, his old body replaced him at home as cult members have their own plans with his girlfriend.
"...in order to start a run away from his pregnant girlfriend and start a new life..."That part of the logline is a bit clunky and I would consider revising it.---As for the logline itself. You have a good story in there somewhere. I would drop the hearts part of it honestly. It isn't needed.Here isRead more
“…in order to start a run away from his pregnant girlfriend and start a new life…”
That part of the logline is a bit clunky and I would consider revising it.
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As for the logline itself. You have a good story in there somewhere. I would drop the hearts part of it honestly. It isn’t needed.
Here is an attempt, however, my attempt is probably a little clunky as well.
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“When a commitment-phobic man accepts an offer to switch bodies, he must make the ultimate commitment and save the girlfriend he’s running away from after discovering the cult member in his old body plans to sacrifice her.”
See lessWhen an ex-soldier comes to meet his son who was born of rape during the war, he must convince the mother (the woman he raped) that his intentions are clear. (SHORT FILM)
I agree; you should say, "He must convince the mother to let him meet the boy" Because saying his intentions are clear... isn't clear. (it doesn't tell us what his intentions are)
I agree; you should say, “He must convince the mother to let him meet the boy”
Because saying his intentions are clear… isn’t clear. (it doesn’t tell us what his intentions are)
See lessA college student and his girlfriend moves to an apartment, spies on their neighbors who happens to be a serial killer only to find out one of them invades their home.
If you are going to do a Rear Window type script, you need to give it a good hook
If you are going to do a Rear Window type script, you need to give it a good hook
See less