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  1. Posted: February 11, 2020In: Adventure

    After losing her pilot training scholarship, a dorky girl joins forces with a group of air hostesses to help them smuggle blood diamonds from Sierra Leone.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on February 11, 2020 at 10:52 am

    A story question. Does the Dorky girl fly the plane?I ask this because that would be really funny.She starts flight school, and loses her scholarship, Now she is back home and the smugglers learn she has some flight training so they convince her to fly their plane. But she only had part of her trainRead more

    A story question. Does the Dorky girl fly the plane?

    I ask this because that would be really funny.

    She starts flight school, and loses her scholarship, Now she is back home and the smugglers learn she has some flight training so they convince her to fly their plane. But she only had part of her training so she is really bad. (Like she doesn’t really know how to land a plane)

    Anyway I like the concept

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  2. Posted: February 11, 2020In: Adventure

    After losing her pilot training scholarship, a dorky girl joins forces with a group of air hostesses to help them smuggle blood diamonds from Sierra Leone.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on February 11, 2020 at 10:48 am

    The transition is a bit abrupt, Going from a dorky girl losing a scholarship, to smuggling blood diamonds. There is a pretty big jump. your explanation does help the reader understand what is going on but the logline needs a smoother transition. However, I do like the idea.  

    The transition is a bit abrupt, Going from a dorky girl losing a scholarship, to smuggling blood diamonds. There is a pretty big jump. your explanation does help the reader understand what is going on but the logline needs a smoother transition.

    However, I do like the idea.

     

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  3. Posted: February 10, 2020In: Coming of Age

    When her husband takes a sabbatical from his family, and her children are placed in therapy, she struggles at parenting.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on February 10, 2020 at 12:22 pm

    Stories need to have a proactive lead character who has a goal. And then something to stand in the way of that goal. Also; the beginning of the story and the main goal should match. ---- 1: If the beginning of the story is the husband leaving then the goal would be, for the lead character to becomeRead more

    Stories need to have a proactive lead character who has a goal. And then something to stand in the way of that goal.

    Also; the beginning of the story and the main goal should match.

    —-

    1: If the beginning of the story is the husband leaving then the goal would be, for the lead character to become an independent mother.

    2: If the beginning of the story, is the lead characters’ children are placed in therapy, then the goal would be to help her children overcome whatever caused them to be placed in therapy.

    3: If the beginning of the story is the lead moves from a poorer neighborhood into high society, then the goal would be for the lead to help her family adjust to the new neighborhood.

    But only one will be the main storyline, the rest will be ‘B’ storylines within the script.

    —-

    So in the script, all of these storylines are acceptable. but only ONE will be the main storyline and that is what should be in the logline.

    1: Her husband leaves/Become independent

    2: Her children are placed in therapy/Help her children

    3: Fish out of water/learn to adjust to new her society

    Hope this helps

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