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After his teenage son is kidnapped by gang members, a police officer decides to steal cars.
Think of Lord of the rings. "When an evil sorcerer threatens to enslave the entire world, a humble Hobbit decides to go on a trip." Now if I hadn't read the books but was just reading the logline, I would be scratching my head in confusion. How does going on a trip stop an evil sorcerer? The reasonRead more
Think of Lord of the rings.
“When an evil sorcerer threatens to enslave the entire world, a humble Hobbit decides to go on a trip.”
Now if I hadn’t read the books but was just reading the logline, I would be scratching my head in confusion. How does going on a trip stop an evil sorcerer?
The reason it’s confusing is that it’s missing why going on the trip is important,? (to destroy the ring which happens to be the power base for the evil sorcerer)
In your logline, his son gets kidnapped, so the lead steals some cars… obviously, something is missing from the logline, How does this all connect.
See lessAfter his teenage son is kidnapped by gang members, a police officer decides to steal cars.
I have to agree with Mike, the lead character's son is kidnapped and he decides to steal some cars. If this is the plot, you will have to show us how those two things connect.
I have to agree with Mike, the lead character’s son is kidnapped and he decides to steal some cars.
If this is the plot, you will have to show us how those two things connect.
See lessAfter a teenage daughter of a imprisoned mob boss who is a student of his gets kidnapped, a teacher moonlights himself to support his family as a taxi driver decides to take the law on his own hands to get revenge on those who got into prostitution.
Sometimes it is good to let the reader know, why is it up to the lead to take action. Why don't the police do something or in the case of your story, why doesn't the mob boss send his goons out to get revenge.Here would be an attempt to explain why it is the teacher and not someone else that takes aRead more
Sometimes it is good to let the reader know, why is it up to the lead to take action. Why don’t the police do something or in the case of your story, why doesn’t the mob boss send his goons out to get revenge.
Here would be an attempt to explain why it is the teacher and not someone else that takes action.
“When his student prodigy is kidnapped by human traffickers, a Green Beret turned teacher vows to hunt down those responsible and save his student at any cost.”
See less