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During an unruly blizzard, a family is trapped in their house with a malevolent ghost who has their daughter, and given the choice – get out and live or look for their daughter and die.
You probably shouldn't present the lead character abanding their daughter as a viable option. No one would pull for a lead character, whose daughter is in danger, and they just leave her to die. Abandoning the daughter is not a good option to present as a possibility for the lead character.
You probably shouldn’t present the lead character abanding their daughter as a viable option. No one would pull for a lead character, whose daughter is in danger, and they just leave her to die. Abandoning the daughter is not a good option to present as a possibility for the lead character.
See lessDuring an unruly blizzard, a family is trapped in their house with a malevolent ghost who has their daughter, and given the choice – get out and live or look for their daughter and die.
This logline is set up wrong. You say there is a blizzard and the family is trapped, but then you take away the danger by saying if they get out of the house (and into the blizzard) they will live. It should be the other way, they can't escape into the blizzard because if they go out into the stormRead more
This logline is set up wrong.
You say there is a blizzard and the family is trapped, but then you take away the danger by saying if they get out of the house (and into the blizzard) they will live.
It should be the other way, they can’t escape into the blizzard because if they go out into the storm they will die.
The blizzard should be the story element that traps them not the story element that saves them.
See lessSuspecting their cop neighbour of killing and eating children, a couple, new in town, set out to prove it – during his New Year’s Eve party.
What sets the story in motion? You say they suspect their neighbor of killing and eating children, but there must be an event that causes that belief. Unless it would take up too much word space adding the specific inciting incident to the logline will help clarify the story.
What sets the story in motion?
You say they suspect their neighbor of killing and eating children, but there must be an event that causes that belief.
Unless it would take up too much word space adding the specific inciting incident to the logline will help clarify the story.
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