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After discovering their only son is gay, a Pentecostal family goes to extreme lengths to rid him of what they consider to be evil.
This logline is written from the point of view of the family.? This would mean the story is about the family and their efforts to 'cure' their son.However, normally in a story like this, the gay kid would be the lead character not a member of the family.If this is the case, if the kid is the lead chRead more
This logline is written from the point of view of the family.? This would mean the story is about the family and their efforts to ‘cure’ their son.
However, normally in a story like this, the gay kid would be the lead character not a member of the family.
If this is the case, if the kid is the lead character and not the ‘family’ then I would re-write the logline?from his point of view
However, if a member of the family is the lead character, then I would narrow it down to the mother or father.
Father as lead character:
“When his son comes out, a Pentecostal father must find a cure for his wayward boy before the sin spreads to the entire family”
Kid as the lead character:
“After his Pentecostal father discovers he’s gay, a homeschooled boy must escape his house before his father’s extreme methods of curing him end up killing him.”
Obviously, your logline will differ because I don’t know all the ins and outs of your story however, I hope these two examples help.
See lessMY THIRD TRY: To stop a likely nuclear war among earthlings, a space alien whose race wants future control of an un-radiated planet, demands that all nukes be disassemble now or else NO electricity for a decade.
I think the awkward part about the 'alien' being the protagonist is that the situation is this; earth must disarm their nuclear arsenal or lose all their electricity... So the protagonist would be the one who must rally the leaders of the world and convince them to get rid of their atomic weapons. TRead more
I think the awkward part about the ‘alien’ being the protagonist is that the situation is this; earth must disarm their nuclear arsenal or lose all their electricity… So the protagonist would be the one who must rally the leaders of the world and convince them to get rid of their atomic weapons.
This is further complicated by the stakes; as mentioned, the stakes are, losing electricity?for a month. In a story, the ‘stakes’ are what will happen to the lead character if they do not accomplish the mission. Therefore, since losing electricity for a month is the bad thing that will happen to ‘humans’ if they do not accomplish the goal, then the lead character by default must be a human.
However, since this is not the case. (and since the story is written) Because the alien is the lead character, in the logline the stakes should be changed to what bad thing will happen to the lead character if the lead does not accomplish their mission.
See lessThis is my second choice: A space alien and her Paiute Indian female friend lands in a flying saucer on the Las Vegas Strip and demands that all nuclear weapons be disassemble or NO electricity for a decade.
What is the alien's motivation? ( don't quite get the 'why' of this story, why is the alien doing this)
What is the alien’s motivation? ( don’t quite get the ‘why’ of this story, why is the alien doing this)
See less