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After two girls fall in love in El Salvador, they try to make a future, even if it means crossing the dangerous border for the ‘land of the free.’
I can't tell if this logline is for the same story as your other logline you posted or if this logline is for a different story altogether.
I can’t tell if this logline is for the same story as your other logline you posted or if this logline is for a different story altogether.
See lessTwo next door neighbors, one needing to get somewhere and the other to get away, set out on a road trip across America that will redefine what they want from life and from each other.
1: Since the neighbor?who needs to get 'somewhere' has the goal. (Reach 'this' destination) Then that character should be the lead.2: Then you should tell us what that destination is (Los Angeles for instance) and be specific.3: Finally, you should let the reader know what bad thing will happen if tRead more
1: Since the neighbor?who needs to get ‘somewhere‘ has the goal. (Reach ‘this’ destination) Then that character should be the lead.
2: Then you should tell us what that destination is (Los Angeles for instance) and be specific.
3: Finally, you should let the reader know what bad thing will happen if the lead does not get to that specific destination. That will be your stakes, and the stakes are what draw in the reader.
Ultimately you are trying to ‘grip’ or ‘hook’ the reader, and saying that the lead needs to? ‘get somewhere’ just doesn’t draw in the reader.
As a general logline rule, be specific, and be urgent. (And that applies to most loglines on this site, not just yours)
See lessInspired by real events, an irreligious man tormented by supernatural disturbances in his newly-purchased home must seek help from unfamiliar sources when he learns he is dealing with the fiery spirits of Islamic lore?the Jinn.
My instincts tell me that you should probably drop the "Inspired by real events" since generally speaking, mythological?creatures don't exist (So how could the events be real) but others on this site might have a different opinion. However, the rest should be an easy fix. ---------------------------Read more
My instincts tell me that you should probably drop the “Inspired by real events” since generally speaking, mythological?creatures don’t exist (So how could the events be real) but others on this site might have a different opinion.
However, the rest should be an easy fix.
See less——————————————————–
“When his home is haunted by a jinn; a supernatural creature from Islamic lore, an irreligious man must seek the help of a Muslim exorcist to rid his home of the demonic creature.”