1. Posted: October 12, 2018In:

    Through interference with dimensional aliens, several lost Roman legions is transported to a brutal world of magics, monsters, and hellish creatures and must fight to reshape the world in the name of Caesar and Rome.

    Richiev Singularity

    Btw, I'm not saying the basic idea can't work, I'm just saying,? a magic spell should bring the Roman legion to the magical land.Now a roman legion fighting mythical monsters does sound interesting, sort of 300 meets lord of the rings. That is definitely?an intriguing hook that would grab the readerRead more

    Btw, I’m not saying the basic idea can’t work, I’m just saying,? a magic spell should bring the Roman legion to the magical land.

    Now a roman legion fighting mythical monsters does sound interesting, sort of 300 meets lord of the rings. That is definitely?an intriguing hook that would grab the reader. (As long as there is an ultimate bad guy for them to fight against)

    Or as mikepedley85 mentioned, a Roman legion that is transported to Hell and must fight their way out is also a good hook.

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  2. Posted: October 12, 2018In:

    When Heaven accidentally causes an army of demons to be unleashed on the town of Oceanview, God is forced to visit Earth with disastrous results. Title: God Just Wanted To Play Golf

    Richiev Singularity

    Superman has kryptonite for a reason. You can't be brave if you are invincible. ------------------------------------- When?God comes to earth; after a bumbling angel accidentally?releases a demon horde, he discovers, on earth, he's human, vulnerable, and the demon horde must be stopped at all costs.

    Superman has kryptonite for a reason. You can’t be brave if you are invincible.
    ————————————-
    When?God comes to earth; after a bumbling angel accidentally?releases a demon horde, he discovers, on earth, he’s human, vulnerable, and the demon horde must be stopped at all costs.

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  3. Posted: October 12, 2018In:

    Drawn to older men, an idealistic teenager starts dating an unmarried software engineer and is forced to choose between free will to love with her heart or obey societal norms to appease the locals.

    Richiev Singularity

    Also, don't start the logline with 'Drawn to older men' that's telling not showing. instead, it should be something like, "When she begins dating a man twenty years her senior..."-------------------------------"When she begins dating a man twenty years her senior, an idealist teen must convince herRead more

    Also, don’t start the logline with ‘Drawn to older men’ that’s telling not showing. instead, it should be something like, “When she begins dating a man twenty years her senior…”
    ——————————-
    “When she begins dating a man twenty years her senior, an idealist teen must convince her overprotective mother he’s Mr right?after her mother proclaims it’s all wrong.”

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