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Set in the near future: When his neighbourhood is raided by a violent vigilante squad, a gang-member must venture through enemy territory to get his 5 year old daughter to sanctuary before they are killed.
Since the story is about a father and daughter fighting their way to safety, you should have the bad guys kill the mother, a dead mother is more personal than just his neighborhood being raided. After all, since the mom isn't in the story, use her death as an inciting incident in order to draw in thRead more
Since the story is about a father and daughter fighting their way to safety, you should have the bad guys kill the mother, a dead mother is more personal than just his neighborhood being raided. After all, since the mom isn’t in the story, use her death as an inciting incident in order to draw in the audience.
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When his wife is killed by vicious anarchists, an anguished father must fight his way through a dystopian nightmare in order to?get his five-year-old daughter to safety.?
Presumed dead, a vengeful old man uses his grandson as a vessel to help the police bust the cult that has destroyed his own life in order to save the human race.
After reading giannis's?critique, I can now see that the logline can be read two different ways.1: "...to help the police bust the cult?(That destroyed his own life) in order to save the human race." --- in this version, the police must bust the cult in order to save the human race.2: "...to help thRead more
After reading giannis’s?critique, I can now see that the logline can be read two different ways.
1: “…to help the police bust the cult?(That destroyed his own life) in order to save the human race.” — in this version, the police must bust the cult in order to save the human race.
2: “…to help the police bust the cult?(That destroyed his own life in order to save the human race.”) — In this version, the cult that the police must bust, was trying to save the human race by destroying the lead character’s life.
It is a very big problem when a logline is written in such a way that it can be misread by the reader, and the logline should be re-written in such a way that clarifies this issue.
See lessPresumed dead, a vengeful old man uses his grandson as a vessel to help the police bust the cult that has destroyed his own life in order to save the human race.
So the lead character, uses his grandson, to help the police, bust the cult... Usually, it is the lead character who takes action.Also, the whole saving the world thing seems to come out of nowhere even though saving the entire human race seems like it would be the most important thing.
So the lead character, uses his grandson, to help the police, bust the cult… Usually, it is the lead character who takes action.
Also, the whole saving the world thing seems to come out of nowhere even though saving the entire human race seems like it would be the most important thing.
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