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A space marine on shore leave must race to rescue a scientist from enemy insurgents, or the scientist’s death or abduction could set off a doomsday weapon, killing billions.
At the moment there is a slight disconnect (In the logline) between having a marine on shore leave and him having to save the scientist. How does he go from one to the other? Why not let authorities?handle it?Okay, knowing a little something about Marines.? A marine goes on shore leave and usually eRead more
At the moment there is a slight disconnect (In the logline) between having a marine on shore leave and him having to save the scientist. How does he go from one to the other? Why not let authorities?handle it?
Okay, knowing a little something about Marines.? A marine goes on shore leave and usually ends up where the girls are. There is normally a street of ill repute where women of low moral character hang out. Maybe there are some seedy gambling establishments as well as places of rather crass entertainment. So the marine wants to drink a few drinks, get in a fight with a sailor, then find a girl.
Now somewhere on the planet, there is an insurgency. How does the marine get from his ‘trying to have a good time’ to fighting an insurgency?
What event happens that draws the marine in personally and makes it so that only he can save the day?
(By the way, good luck with this. I take it to mean you are attempting to write this novel in 30 days, that is very cool)
See lessA straight laced police detective must track down a serial killer brutally murdering children’s TV presenters.
Fired by who? Who hired the detective to track down the serial killer? Or are you talking about a police detective?? {After Edit: *Thanks for the clarification*}
Fired by who? Who hired the detective to track down the serial killer? Or are you talking about a police detective?? {After Edit: *Thanks for the clarification*}
See lessWhen a horde of zombies kill the sheriff of a sleepy frontier town, a penitent gunslinger, sentenced to hang, leads the townsfolk in their desperate fight for survival.
I looked back to the old version of this and it looks the same, so I can't tell if this version is the same as the old version or if you went back and changed the old version so it is the same as the revision.Anyway, I did a logline example in that version. I had the inciting incident as the sheriffRead more
I looked back to the old version of this and it looks the same, so I can’t tell if this version is the same as the old version or if you went back and changed the old version so it is the same as the revision.
Anyway, I did a logline example in that version. I had the inciting incident as the sheriff being killed, this would explain why the townsfolk would turn to the convicted gunslinger. After, all the sheriff would normally be the protector of the town.
Also, I don’t think we need to know about the native American curse since the goal isn’t to lift the curse, the goal is the fight the zombies, so the inciting incident would be when the zombie’s attack.
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“When their sheriff is killed by zombies, a gunslinger, sentenced to hang, is now the only one to lead the peaceful townsfolk in their fight against the undead horde.”