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An Orthodox Ivy Leaguer with dreams of marrying his high school sweetheart descends into depression following his best friend’s murder and tries to preserve his relationship, and sanity, while fighting personal demons and hostile classmates.
When his best friend is murdered... Does your lead character have a pro-active goal after his friend is murdered? Because it seems as if things happen to your lead character but he doesn't initiate any of it.
When his best friend is murdered…
Does your lead character have a pro-active goal after his friend is murdered? Because it seems as if things happen to your lead character but he doesn’t initiate any of it.
See lessOn an isolated, faraway island, a blind young man lives in between a peaceful religious native community. But when an ambiguous and seditious village member instills in the boy some doubts concerning their religion, harmony is broken and so it begins a spiral of violence that will bring the community to its destruction.
You say the blind young man lives between a peaceful religious native community... but don't give us the 'and' There must be two things if he is between them, the religious community and something else.
You say the blind young man lives between a peaceful religious native community… but don’t give us the ‘and’ There must be two things if he is between them, the religious community and something else.
See lessSet in a mythical time in precolonial America, when a race of demons begin killing humans in their sleep and replacing them with duplicates, a naive hunter must work with his tribal enemies to stop the monsters before they are taken next.
You should make it personal (I find myself saying this a lot) "When his sister is killed and replaced by body-snatching demons, a native American hunter must..." Instead of killing? 'humans' the demons should do something to a specific person who the lead character cares about.
You should make it personal (I find myself saying this a lot)
“When his sister is killed and replaced by body-snatching demons, a native American hunter must…”
Instead of killing? ‘humans’ the demons should do something to a specific person who the lead character cares about.
See less