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When they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go with them to the lair of a savage yeti tribe to rescue and awaken the only goddess who can end the ice age.
One more thing, I would change either the brothers or the war party to female characters (Specifically spelled out in the logline) Otherwise, you will end up with an all-male cast and that can be boring (As can an all-female cast)
One more thing, I would change either the brothers or the war party to female characters (Specifically spelled out in the logline)
See lessOtherwise, you will end up with an all-male cast and that can be boring (As can an all-female cast)
When they accidentally unfreeze a war party, two cavemen brothers must go with them to the lair of a savage yeti tribe to rescue and awaken the only goddess who can end the ice age.
I don't have a feel for your characters from your logline as it is written,Two cavemen brothers: This tells us nothing about their personalities... I would change it to just one person and give them some personality.A war party: Again, I don't have a feel for their personality, I would change it toRead more
I don’t have a feel for your characters from your logline as it is written,
Two cavemen brothers: This tells us nothing about their personalities… I would change it to just one person and give them some personality.
A war party: Again, I don’t have a feel for their personality, I would change it to a single warrior, or if you must have an entire war party, concentrate on a single warrior from the war party, preferably the leader.
Finally, it seems as though the war party are the ones with the goal and the lead characters are just tagging along. You need to change the logline so the lead characters must end the ice age. Make it personal to the lead characters. Why must the lead character succeed, what bad thing will happen if they do not end the ice age (What personally to the lead character will happen)
See less“Claudia V?zquez is the most prestigious and reputed parapsychologist in Spain today, who from her early years until her maturity will not stop from facing the paranormal, until having a surprising and disconcerting final confrontation.”
You spend too much time on the setup and not enough time on the story. What is the story actually about?
You spend too much time on the setup and not enough time on the story.
What is the story actually about?
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