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A bitter old man plays an advanced virtual reality game and conquers his fear of technology.
I think the situation has promise. Especially if he has to work with a particularly spunky gamer to help him navigate the cyber world. However you should give us an event that triggers his action. "When he is turned down for a job for being technologically inept..."?This would just be an example byRead more
I think the situation has promise. Especially if he has to work with a particularly spunky gamer to help him navigate the cyber world.
However you should give us an event that triggers his action. “When he is turned down for a job for being technologically inept…”?This would just be an example
by giving us an event we can see why the character has to overcome his fear of technology, it should also lead to a tangible goal for the character and if done correctly it might even show the reader what the stakes are.
Anyway, good luck with this project, the story concept seems interesting.
See lessA smart sophisticated woman has all the control in her career life but in her personal life, the control is slowly slipping out of her hand. One day, an encounter with her husband leads to a decision she’ll deeply regret.
Also the event should lead to a goal. What does your lead character want. (Specifically)
Also the event should lead to a goal. What does your lead character want. (Specifically)
See lessA smart sophisticated woman has all the control in her career life but in her personal life, the control is slowly slipping out of her hand. One day, an encounter with her husband leads to a decision she’ll deeply regret.
You buried the lead. You should give us the inciting incident right at the beginning of the logline. and as dpg suggest be specific about what the decision is, since that is what sets the story in motion.
You buried the lead.
You should give us the inciting incident right at the beginning of the logline. and as dpg suggest be specific about what the decision is, since that is what sets the story in motion.
See less