1. Posted: November 2, 2017In:

    When an exiled prince unexpectedly becomes ruler in a foreign kingdom, he must make dangerous alliances if he is to survive the vampire Emperor who murdered his parents.

    Richiev Singularity

    This isn't too far off, however, the vampire Emperor does seem to come out of nowhere. If the murder of the parents is the inciting incident you might want to move that part to the front of the logline.

    This isn’t too far off, however, the vampire Emperor does seem to come out of nowhere. If the murder of the parents is the inciting incident you might want to move that part to the front of the logline.

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  2. Posted: October 31, 2017In:

    After the worst week of his adult life, a dispirited nice guy chooses guidance on becoming an alpha over suicide.

    Richiev Singularity

    You should give us a specific event we can relate to. Such as: "When his wife leaves him." "when he get's an F on all his finals," "When his dog dies."

    You should give us a specific event we can relate to. Such as: “When his wife leaves him.” “when he get’s an F on all his finals,” “When his dog dies.”

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  3. Posted: October 27, 2017In:

    A soldier returns from war to bury his parents and tend to his sister who remains in a coma. He soon discovers her constant sexual abuse and seeks revenge on her behalf. ~this is a revenge film in the vein of Taken meets Identity~

    Richiev Singularity

    You should start with the sexual abuse. "When he discovers his comatose sister is being abuses sexually, a vet just returned from the war must..."

    You should start with the sexual abuse.

    “When he discovers his comatose sister is being abuses sexually, a vet just returned from the war must…”

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