1. Posted: July 25, 2017In:

    After a near drowning makes him the target of an evil spirit, an avoidant teenager must endure hellish heat when a bushfire threatens to destroy his hideout. (27)

    Richiev Singularity

    If it's not an average hideout... I would add that element to the logline. (Sounds important to the storyline)

    If it’s not an average hideout… I would add that element to the logline. (Sounds important to the storyline)

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: July 25, 2017In:

    After a near drowning makes him the target of an evil spirit, an avoidant teenager must endure hellish heat when a bushfire threatens to destroy his hideout. (27)

    Richiev Singularity

    The teenager hides from the evil spirit. He hides until the bush fire forces him to leave his hideout and confront the evil spirit.-------------------------------------------------I would add that element to the logline for clarity.By the way, why doesn't the evil spirit just haunt the hideout?

    The teenager hides from the evil spirit. He hides until the bush fire forces him to leave his hideout and confront the evil spirit.
    ————————————————-

    I would add that element to the logline for clarity.

    By the way, why doesn’t the evil spirit just haunt the hideout?

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: July 25, 2017In:

    After a near drowning makes him the target of an evil spirit, an avoidant teenager must endure hellish heat when a bushfire threatens to destroy his hideout. (27)

    Richiev Singularity

    There are quite a few elements in your story... however, for the logline, Your goal should relate to the inciting incident. Inciting incident: Targeted by an evil spirit after nearly drowning. Goal: Survive a brush fire. The goal should probably have something to do with defeating the evil spirit inRead more

    There are quite a few elements in your story… however, for the logline, Your goal should relate to the inciting incident.

    Inciting incident: Targeted by an evil spirit after nearly drowning.
    Goal: Survive a brush fire.

    The goal should probably have something to do with defeating the evil spirit instead of surviving a brush fire.

    Hope that helped.

    See less
    • 0