1. Posted: June 9, 2017In:

    Five disease research scientists are trapped in their underground laboratory by the containment system after an experimental airborne drug leaks out, only to discover it may have deadly side-effects.

    Richiev Singularity

    In a story a lead character has a goal, your logline has neither a lead character or a goal. It simply presents a situation. 1: Who is the lead character? 2: What is their goal 3: What is standing in the way of the lead character's ?goal? 4: What must the lead character do about it?

    In a story a lead character has a goal, your logline has neither a lead character or a goal. It simply presents a situation.

    1: Who is the lead character?
    2: What is their goal
    3: What is standing in the way of the lead character’s ?goal?
    4: What must the lead character do about it?

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: June 6, 2017In:

    a frustrated female werecat trying to be with the woman she loves discovers an ancient secret hidden beneath the city and fights alongside a surprising ally to prevent all out destruction

    Richiev Singularity

    It sounds as if the discovery is what set's the story in motion. If that is the case I would be more descriptive as to what ancient secret is, since the discovery is what the lead will be fighting against.

    It sounds as if the discovery is what set’s the story in motion. If that is the case I would be more descriptive as to what ancient secret is, since the discovery is what the lead will be fighting against.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: June 5, 2017In:

    Baby Doll

    Richiev Singularity

    A vigilante is someone out for revenge, someone taking the law into their own hands.I believe this logline would improve if you told us what incident set the lead character on their course of retribution.Why are they a murderous vigilante? Who are they fighting against?

    A vigilante is someone out for revenge, someone taking the law into their own hands.

    I believe this logline would improve if you told us what incident set the lead character on their course of retribution.

    Why are they a murderous vigilante? Who are they fighting against?

    See less
    • 0