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A rewrite: When a young Muslim emigrant woman finds love with a Norwegian man, her betrothed vows to stop them at all costs.
I think this logline is getting better.I would add the element of an arranged marriage. She is being forced by her family to marry someone she doesn't want to. Now if she refuses to marry, ?not only will her fiance want to kill her, it will dishonor her family.
I think this logline is getting better.
I would add the element of an arranged marriage. She is being forced by her family to marry someone she doesn’t want to.
See lessNow if she refuses to marry, ?not only will her fiance want to kill her, it will dishonor her family.
A grieving truck driver has a life affirming conversation with a mysterious stranger over his CB radio
I like the idea because it can be shot on a low budget. However the logline should contain the goal for the lead character and conflict. ----- "After his wife dies of cancer, a despondent truck driver travels across the country to commit suicide on his wife's grave, but his plans are jeopardized wheRead more
I like the idea because it can be shot on a low budget.
However the logline should contain the goal for the lead character and conflict.
See less—–
“After his wife dies of cancer, a despondent truck driver travels across the country to commit suicide on his wife’s grave, but his plans are jeopardized when, over the CB, a persistent Lorrie driver determines to save him.”
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Obviously your story will be different but in my example there is an inciting incident; we know why the truck driver is grieving, and we have a goal; the truck driver is determined to kill himself on his wife’s grave… and we have conflict; something standing in the way of the lead character’s goal in the form of the persistent Lorrie driver.
When a yound man falls in-love with a beautiful woman, he fights for his life, when her jealous fiancee determines to kill him.
You haven't really given us a reason to root for the main character. The lead falls for a another mans fiance', that's fine but we need a reason why we want him to succeed.
You haven’t really given us a reason to root for the main character.
See lessThe lead falls for a another mans fiance’, that’s fine but we need a reason why we want him to succeed.