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When an innocent girl enters the kill zone for a drone attack, the mission commander must overcome legal and ethical objections to get permission to execute Kenyan terrorists on the verge of a suicide mission.
I believe the story would work better if it is told from the prospective of the person who has to make the decision.In your story the lead must get permission thus shifting responsibility for the action. If there is anyway to change that, I would change it so the lead is the one who must make the teRead more
I believe the story would work better if it is told from the prospective of the person who has to make the decision.
In your story the lead must get permission thus shifting responsibility for the action. If there is anyway to change that, I would change it so the lead is the one who must make the terrible decision.
Maybe communications get jammed, there is a small window and it is up to the lead to decide, go for the kill or don’t go for the kill.
Hope that helped.
See lessA socially awkward author from New York City only leaves his apartment at night until he falls in love with an ambitious politician who is spending every day in front of a camera.
"When a socially awkward author falls for a high profile politician, he must..."
“When a socially awkward author falls for a high profile politician, he must…”
See lessWhen their worlds fall apart over the same week, three disenchanted, cash-strapped girlfriends make a pact to attempt three wild ways to make it big ? and get rich – fast.
One specific is better than 3 non-specifics I do think this idea has potential, sort of Zach and Miri make a porno meets Risky Business. With the right amount of good one liners and a compelling inciting incident it could do well. But as for the logline you should... --------------------------------Read more
One specific is better than 3 non-specifics
I do think this idea has potential, sort of Zach and Miri make a porno meets Risky Business. With the right amount of good one liners and a compelling inciting incident it could do well.
But as for the logline you should…
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1: Give us the compelling and specific inciting incident.
2: You should give us a better understanding of the lead character. (It would help if there is contrast. If one of the lead characters is a devout christian but through terrible luck must become a stripper, it will help the story because of the internal conflict and raises the stakes)
3: Give us a specific example of what they will do to make money.
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Hope this helps, good luck with this!