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When hunting season nears for the 20th time in his career, a miserable assassin enrolls in his pregnant wife?s yoga and pilates class to rediscover a desire to kill.
You have the irony down, which conveys comedy. I don't think you need the part about the pregnant wife in the logline. ----- "When he enrolls in a new age yoga class, a despondent assassin realizes he must become one with himself if he is to rediscover his love of killing" ----- I believe what yourRead more
You have the irony down, which conveys comedy. I don’t think you need the part about the pregnant wife in the logline.
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“When he enrolls in a new age yoga class, a despondent assassin realizes he must become one with himself if he is to rediscover his love of killing”
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I believe what your logline or story needs is an opposite. Someone with the opposite attributes and personality of the assassin who will both annoy and help him grow. And just when he grows to like them he finds out they are his next target.
Hope that helps, good luck with this.
See lessAfter famous NASCAR racer dies, his son, an up-and-coming auto racer falls into alcoholism. With sponsors pulling their support and his money dwindling, friends and family try to help the son overcome his depression in time for his next race.
A lead character is pro-active. They have a goal, and something in the way of that goal.The way you have written your logline, the lead character seems passive, things happen to the lead character but the lead, doesn't seem to do anything.I would re-write this logline in the contest of what the leadRead more
A lead character is pro-active. They have a goal, and something in the way of that goal.
The way you have written your logline, the lead character seems passive, things happen to the lead character but the lead, doesn’t seem to do anything.
I would re-write this logline in the contest of what the lead character wants, what is the leads goal after his father dies?
See lessWhen a witch who is also a medical doctor is left with three days to raise his daughter from the dead, he enlists the help of an ameteur witch who has three days to save her mother from a deadly disease.
If being a doctor is not relevant to the plot I would leave it out. "After his daughter dies a desperate warlock has three days to recover a resurrection spell and the obscure ingredients or lose his daughter forever"
If being a doctor is not relevant to the plot I would leave it out.
“After his daughter dies a desperate warlock has three days to recover a resurrection spell and the obscure ingredients or lose his daughter forever”
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