1. Posted: November 2, 2016In:

    When a former contender turned getaway driver finds love and tries to go legit, an Aryan Brotherhood kingpin who once derailed his boxing career threatens the mother of his unborn child to make him do one last job ? one that comes with the ultimate price.

    Richiev Singularity

    The trouble with the logline attempts you have been posting is that you spend most the logline on back story an not enough word count on what the lead character must do now that he finds himself in this situation. What's the lead characters plan to get himself out of the situation. It doesn't have tRead more

    The trouble with the logline attempts you have been posting is that you spend most the logline on back story an not enough word count on what the lead character must do now that he finds himself in this situation.

    What’s the lead characters plan to get himself out of the situation. It doesn’t have to work, it could fail but you should tell us what the lead character must do, not just why the lead is in the situation he is in.

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: November 2, 2016In:

    a negligent mother must find her daughter’s soul and bring her back from a mythical white forest before the soul detached completely from the body. Possible Title : “White Woods”

    Richiev Singularity

    "After her daughter slips into a coma, a desperate mother is given one chance to saver her, she must travel to the mythical white forest and has three days to find her daughter's soul."

    “After her daughter slips into a coma, a desperate mother is given one chance to saver her, she must travel to the mythical white forest and has three days to find her daughter’s soul.”

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: October 31, 2016In:

    A college dropout turn travel agent living in Manhattan is faking his way through life. He receives news that his family’s dilapidated farm in Outback Australia, is facing foreclosure. Desperate to save the farm and fulfill his dream, he books an ageing reality TV star a vacation there, passing it off as a five-star resort. He and his family scramble to hide the truth, as they try to snag an investment from the celebrity.

    Richiev Singularity

    Unless this has already been written I would make a suggestion.I don't believe the lead should to try to make the celebrity believe the farm is a five star resort, I don't think that is plausible. Instead I would have the lead try to convince the celebrity his farm is the new 'in' thing. CelebritiesRead more

    Unless this has already been written I would make a suggestion.

    I don’t believe the lead should to try to make the celebrity believe the farm is a five star resort, I don’t think that is plausible. Instead I would have the lead try to convince the celebrity his farm is the new ‘in’ thing. Celebrities are always doing dumb stuff because it’s ‘in’.

    So he would convince the celebrity it is like a ‘dude’ ranch only with farming. (Or a real life farmville) And he would have the celebrity hoeing the garden, feeding the pigs and bailing ?hay.

    “All the celebrities are doing it, We just had Madonna last week”

    A bond would form between the celebrity (I would make one male and one female) maybe even a little romance, then just when you think maybe something will happen, the the celebrity will find out she was tricked! This of course would lead to the ‘all is lost moment’

    However if this is already written this was just a suggestion.

    See less
    • 0