1. Posted: September 2, 2016In:

    When a passionate playwright finds his muse in a romantic, young woman, disguised as a male actor, they engage in an affair behind the scenes of the production of Romeo and Juliet under the jealous suspicion of the annoying noble to which her aristocratic family has betrothed her.

    Richiev Singularity

    I think the objective goal of 'Shakespeare in love' is paying off his debt. He must write a successful play 'or else' (Goal) but he has writer's block (Obsticle) He discovers his muse and a forbidden love in an aristocratic lady posing as a male actor (Possible second inciting incident) In order toRead more

    I think the objective goal of ‘Shakespeare in love’ is paying off his debt.
    He must write a successful play ‘or else’ (Goal)
    but he has writer’s block (Obsticle)
    He discovers his muse and a forbidden love in an aristocratic lady posing as a male actor (Possible second inciting incident)
    In order to succeed, her gender must be kept a secret. (Possible second obstacle)

    I can see why it might be a little difficult to write a concise logline for “Shakespeare in Love”

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  2. Posted: September 2, 2016In:

    After making his “brain-power-boosting” mixture,a wannabe chemist drinks it,shrinking instead into a little man,who decides to read people?s diaries but reads one which lands him into serious trouble.

    Richiev Singularity

    You don't need the part about the brain-power-boosting' just begin with the shrinking...Second, I don't understand the part about the diaries. You don't have to be small to read another persons diary, also if he is so small he won't be noticed, how does he open the diary, wouldn't the diary be too bRead more

    You don’t need the part about the brain-power-boosting’ just begin with the shrinking…

    Second, I don’t understand the part about the diaries. You don’t have to be small to read another persons diary, also if he is so small he won’t be noticed, how does he open the diary, wouldn’t the diary be too big for him?

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  3. Posted: September 3, 2016In:

    After an ex-police officer commits suicide, he finds that he must now spend his ‘life’ saving the lives of those who died before their time.

    Richiev Singularity

    I am not seeing the 'why?' What is at the end of the tunnel if he succeeds? What is the consequence of failure? Here would be an example of what I mean: ----- "After he commits suicide, an ex police officer must save those who he would have save if alive, in order to go to heaven and see his littleRead more

    I am not seeing the ‘why?’ What is at the end of the tunnel if he succeeds? What is the consequence of failure?

    Here would be an example of what I mean:
    —–
    “After he commits suicide, an ex police officer must save those who he would have save if alive, in order to go to heaven and see his little girl again.”
    —–
    Now the police officer has a goal, get to heaven to see his child who died, and the price of?failure?is living eternity without her.

    In your logline line you have told us he ‘must’ save those who died before their time, but haven’t give us the ‘or else’ to tell us what happens if he fails.

    Hope that helps, good luck with this

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