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After being abandoned by his wife, a middle aged British man relocates to Bangkok and works as a teacher; this move gives him many hilarious experiences.
Ok, getting better, now you have to give us an obstacle. He moves to Bangkok... What is standing in his way? Story is conflict. Without conflict there is no story. What is the conflict in your story?
Ok, getting better, now you have to give us an obstacle.
He moves to Bangkok… What is standing in his way?
Story is conflict. Without conflict there is no story. What is the conflict in your story?
See lessA white racist has a week to find & then bring her deceased grandfather’s secret black family to attend the reading of the will.
You haven't given us the 'or else'. She has a week to find her grandfather's secret black family to attend the will reading... 'or else' this bad thing will happen. If there is no 'or else' the lead character will just refuse to do it.
You haven’t given us the ‘or else’.
She has a week to find her grandfather’s secret black family to attend the will reading… ‘or else’ this bad thing will happen.
If there is no ‘or else’ the lead character will just refuse to do it.
See lessApproaching middle age and divorced; a British IT professional needs more fun injecting into his life. After moving to Bangkok and working as a teacher, he faces an overdose of funny situations.
I think the logline is beginning to improve, The next step to making the logline better would be to answer the question "Why now?" Why does the lead move to Bangkok now instead of last year or next year. What event prompted him to see his life needed a change? If you add the 'why now' to the loglineRead more
I think the logline is beginning to improve,
The next step to making the logline better would be to answer the question “Why now?”
Why does the lead move to Bangkok now instead of last year or next year.
What event prompted him to see his life needed a change?
If you add the ‘why now’ to the logline it will improve.
See less