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EDITED: Desperate to save their TV show from cancellation, two feuding co-stars, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor, enter a fabricated public romance to boost ratings
I like the re-write, However; I would take out the line "...that soon turns complicated when..." and just insert the word 'but' This will help the flow of the logline and take out unnecessary wording.---------------------------------------"Desperate to improve ratings for their TV show, an aging actRead more
I like the re-write, However; I would take out the line “…that soon turns complicated when…” and just insert the word ‘but’ This will help the flow of the logline and take out unnecessary wording.
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“Desperate to improve ratings for their TV show, an aging actress and a troubled younger actor enter a fabricated romance, but must outwit a tenacious paparazzo and vengeful ex-lovers out to expose them.”
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See lessA deceased teacher, wrongly sentenced to Hell for murder, is granted 48 hours on Earth to find the real killer and clear her name
I believe this is a pretty solid logline attempt. Possibly mention who she is accused of murdering if it's important to the story. "Wrongly sent to Hell for the murder of her husband, deceased teacher is granted 48 house on Earth to find the real killer." However, you may not want to start in Hell sRead more
I believe this is a pretty solid logline attempt. Possibly mention who she is accused of murdering if it’s important to the story.
“Wrongly sent to Hell for the murder of her husband, deceased teacher is granted 48 house on Earth to find the real killer.”
However, you may not want to start in Hell since there would be no upping the ante.
“In purgatory for the murder of her husband which she did not commit, a deceased teacher is granted 48 hours on earth to discover the true killer or be sentenced to Hell for eternity”
See lessEDITED: A bored flight attendant?s life is turned upside down when she is mistaken for the accomplice of one of her passengers, a charming thief on the run from the mob
This logline is way to vague to grip the reader. First; a protagonist should be pro-active. You have not given your lead character a goal. Second; I have know idea what, 'gets mixed up with' actually means. Is there a specific scam? If so it should be in the logline. Because of these two things I doRead more
This logline is way to vague to grip the reader.
First; a protagonist should be pro-active. You have not given your lead character a goal.
Second; I have know idea what, ‘gets mixed up with’ actually means. Is there a specific scam? If so it should be in the logline.
Because of these two things I don’t have a clear understanding of what the story would actually be about.
See less