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The voyage to the edge of the solar system and beyond our universe starts in the Sphere of Light.
Who is the lead character? What is the lead character's goal? What is standing in the lead character's way? Story is conflict. You have neither a lead character nor conflict in your logline. Adding a character, a goal and conflict will greatly improve this logline. Hope this helps, good luck with thRead more
Who is the lead character?
What is the lead character’s goal?
What is standing in the lead character’s way?
Story is conflict. You have neither a lead character nor conflict in your logline.
Adding a character, a goal and conflict will greatly improve this logline.
Hope this helps, good luck with this!
See lessTo pay off a debt, an infamous bounty hunter is forced into an unlikely alliance with a young, bookish girl to track down the legendary fortune of an ancient galactic civilization.
You should make the connection between the debt and the bookish girl a little stronger. Also a ticking time clock would be perfect for this situation. Finally you should give us the stakes. What happens if he fails.----------------------------------------------------------------------"When an ?interRead more
You should make the connection between the debt and the bookish girl a little stronger.
Also a ticking time clock would be perfect for this situation.
Finally you should give us the stakes. What happens if he fails.
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“When an ?interstellar mob boss gives him one week to pay off his debt or lose his spaceship. an infamous bounty hunter must work with a bookish galactic archaeologist to track down the legendary fortune of an ancient galactic civilization, all while staying one step of the space police.”
See lessA young man with a dark past is trying everything to stay sane until the love of his life becomes unfaithful, he turns to the voices inside, can he quiet them or will the voices drive him to kill.
I am not seeing any reason for the audience to connect with the lead character. Also, you don't need the first part of the ?logline.
I am not seeing any reason for the audience to connect with the lead character.
Also, you don’t need the first part of the ?logline.
See less