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Rudderless since returning from the Gulf, a sardonic veteran's hapless life gets a bump when he befriends a youth in need of a mentor, but in order to save his budding relationship with his young protege's mom he must shed his old skin and become the man everyone, including himself, needs him to be.
In a comedy with kids, the lead is usually forced together with the kid, leading to the lead characters discomfort and comedy. ------ "When he crashes into a single mom's car, a sardonic veteran reluctantly agrees to mentor her incorrigible son in return for her not notifying his insurance." -----
In a comedy with kids, the lead is usually forced together with the kid, leading to the lead characters discomfort and comedy.
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“When he crashes into a single mom’s car, a sardonic veteran reluctantly agrees to mentor her incorrigible son in return for her not notifying his insurance.”
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After she finds divorce papers, a desperate make-up artist goes to extreme measures to turn herself into her husbands ideal woman, but when she discovers that he actually dreams of becoming a woman she has to face what is really keeping them together.
You have given us two inciting incidents in the logline, which is making it too long. 1: She discovers divorce papers 2: She discovers her husband wants to be a woman. I would concentrate on one or the other for the logline.
You have given us two inciting incidents in the logline, which is making it too long.
1: She discovers divorce papers
2: She discovers her husband wants to be a woman.
I would concentrate on one or the other for the logline.
See lessA young woman struggles to survive when a creature from Guaran? legend is unleashed on a rural Louisiana town.
I believe your logines are getting better. I would probably put the inciting incident first however the story is getting across.
I believe your logines are getting better. I would probably put the inciting incident first however the story is getting across.
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