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When a broken film critic must find the most ascetic Persan director and persuade him to shoot an unrestrained blockbuster in Paris, he pick the wrong man and have to deal with him to save his career.
'Regain his self esteem' should probably be changed. After all that happens in this story, to have the leads goal be, 'to feel better about himself' is anti-climactic. His whole world should be at risk. If he doesn't succeed what ever he loves the most could be taken away. The movie should be aboutRead more
‘Regain his self esteem’ should probably be changed. After all that happens in this story, to have the leads goal be, ‘to feel better about himself’ is anti-climactic.
His whole world should be at risk. If he doesn’t succeed what ever he loves the most could be taken away. The movie should be about him trying to save his entire world from collapsing.
1) You should begin the logline with the lead bringing back the ‘fraud’ movie director. Don’t begin with the ‘fake interview’ (It’s alright for the script but she be left out of the logline)
2) Give us some stakes if he fails. Tell us what he will lose.
3) Be a bit more concise in order to cut the word count.
If you do these things I believe you will have a stronger logline.
Good luck with this!
See lessAfter a series of strange events, a young woman concludes that she is a witch with magical powers. Against her will , her family pushes her to undergo psychiatric treatment.
After a series of strange events (This is a bit vague, you should give us a specific event) a young woman ('young' doesn't really tell us about the lead characters personality) concludes that she is a witch with magical powers. (Saying witch and magical powers is redundant, you should use one or theRead more
After a series of strange events (This is a bit vague, you should give us a specific event)
a young woman (‘young’ doesn’t really tell us about the lead characters personality)
concludes that she is a witch with magical powers. (Saying witch and magical powers is redundant, you should use one or the other)
Against her will , her family pushes her to undergo psychiatric treatment (Against her will clashes with ‘pushes’ because pushes implies they are trying to get her to admit herself into the facility; but against her will implies they admitted her without her consent)
One big question…Is the story about the psychiatric treatment or about the events leading up to the treatment?
Because it will change how the logline is written.
How about this:
—–
“When her Pentecostal father admits her into a psychiatric ward against her will, a rebellious teen who believes she’s a witch must prove she’s not crazy before she can regain her freedom”
—–
Hope this helped, good luck with this!
See lessWhen her 40 year marriage abruptly ends, a professional Nurse impulsively accepts an invitation to caretake a 400 year old cottage on a small Greek Island, to discover that between the eccentric locals and her complicated housemate the journey back to self is far from peaceful. #For Meetup
When her 40 year marriage abruptly ends, (Don't need the word 'abruptly' and might want to use the word 'divorce'; because the characters would be about 60, the husband could have died... which abruptly ends a marriage) a professional Nurse (As opposed to an amateur Nurse? You should use another adjRead more
When her 40 year marriage abruptly ends, (Don’t need the word ‘abruptly’ and might want to use the word ‘divorce’; because the characters would be about 60, the husband could have died… which abruptly ends a marriage)
a professional Nurse (As opposed to an amateur Nurse? You should use another adjective to describe character)
impulsively accepts an invitation to caretake (don’t really need the word impulsively)
a 400 year old cottage on a small Greek Island, (a 400 year old Greek cottage)
to discover (She discovers)
that between the eccentric locals and her complicated housemate the journey back to self is far from peaceful. (As the article says, where are the stakes, so what if she doesn’t make the journey back to self. it didn’t sound as if ‘self’ was that great of a place to begin with)
One a side note, it is hard to tell if the inciting incident is the divorce or accepting the caretaking job. Both are important to the story but having both makes the logline a little long.
Anyway, this sounds like an interesting fish out of water story filled with quirky characters reminiscent of “Under a Tuscan sun’ but with a 60 year old lead character instead of a younger one. Probably the kind of story I would enjoy watching.
Good luck with this!
See less