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After hearing her father's death, a transfer student must conquer the temptations of a secret fraternity, before its ancient founder possesses her mind and body.
There isn't a connection in your logline between her fathers death and the secret fraternity. As a result the logline is a bit awkward. Here would be an example of an inciting event meshing with the rest of the logline. ----- "When her best friend disappears after joining an exclusive sorority, a trRead more
There isn’t a connection in your logline between her fathers death and the secret fraternity. As a result the logline is a bit awkward.
Here would be an example of an inciting event meshing with the rest of the logline.
—–
“When her best friend disappears after joining an exclusive sorority, a transfer student must infiltrate the organization in order to discover it’s dark secret.”
—–
In your logline you should explain how her fathers death connects the lead character joining a fraternity (Sorority)
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessWhen the founder of her mystery book club is murdered, an amateur sleuth must outwit her fellow members; all with motive, to discover the killer.
Great point jfowoot. Originally it was going to be a writing club not a book club. The idea would be, for your story to grab the readers attention you should always 'start with a murder' Now that it's a book club, the title makes less sense. Need a better one.
Great point jfowoot.
Originally it was going to be a writing club not a book club. The idea would be, for your story to grab the readers attention you should always ‘start with a murder’
Now that it’s a book club, the title makes less sense. Need a better one.
See lessWhen the founder of her mystery book club is murdered, an amateur sleuth must outwit her fellow members; all with motive, to discover the killer.
Great point jfowoot. Originally it was going to be a writing club not a book club. The idea would be, for your story to grab the readers attention you should always 'start with a murder' Now that it's a book club, the title makes less sense. Need a better one.
Great point jfowoot.
Originally it was going to be a writing club not a book club. The idea would be, for your story to grab the readers attention you should always ‘start with a murder’
Now that it’s a book club, the title makes less sense. Need a better one.
See less