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A newly telepathic psychiatrist takes matters into his own hands when he detects his patient?s increasingly abusive marriage.
It's not clear what "taking matters into his own hands" is. You can be more specific. Also the use of the word "detects" is strange. Is the patient not up front with his shrink about being abused? Why is he in therapy?
It’s not clear what “taking matters into his own hands” is. You can be more specific. Also the use of the word “detects” is strange. Is the patient not up front with his shrink about being abused? Why is he in therapy?
See lessA secretive, lonely hitman is asked to perform one last hit when he decides to quit after falling in love with a successful attorney. When the target turns out to be his intended, he must bring all of his skills to bear against everything the mob can throw at him.
I think it can be shortened into one sentence by starting with the hook which is that the hit man is hired to kill the girl he's fallen in love with. And I would leave out "one last job" and his plans to quit. The reader can find those details when they read the script.
I think it can be shortened into one sentence by starting with the hook which is that the hit man is hired to kill the girl he’s fallen in love with. And I would leave out “one last job” and his plans to quit. The reader can find those details when they read the script.
See lessAfter her teenage sister commits a sudden suicide, an anxiety-disordered young woman returns to her childhood home and begins to discover family secrets that lead her to investigate the tragedy.
Yes I agree, please tell us more to pique our interest. I feel like there is a twist that you are really holding back on telling us what it is. I have heard it said that you do want to reveal the twist in the log line. Because a producer does not want to read the entire script in order to find out wRead more
Yes I agree, please tell us more to pique our interest. I feel like there is a twist that you are really holding back on telling us what it is. I have heard it said that you do want to reveal the twist in the log line. Because a producer does not want to read the entire script in order to find out what it is.
See less