1. Posted: May 24, 2015In:

    A lonely middle aged autistic man's painful journey to spread wings and not slip into a made up fantasy world – after beloved parents violently die in a car accident of his doing.

    sloanpeterson Logliner

    This sounds like it could be a really haunting drama. I would avoid the use of a dash as it's a little confusing. Also, spreading wings sounds a little vague as far as a goal. Maybe he "must choose living in the real world over a made up fantasy world" or something along those lines?

    This sounds like it could be a really haunting drama. I would avoid the use of a dash as it’s a little confusing. Also, spreading wings sounds a little vague as far as a goal. Maybe he “must choose living in the real world over a made up fantasy world” or something along those lines?

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  2. Posted: May 23, 2015In:

    When his bride loses her memory of him a week before the wedding, an unromantic guy's guy must restore it by recreating their courtship?s most romantic moments or face losing the love of his life.

    sloanpeterson Logliner

    Thanks so much for your comments, they have been very helpful. Let me know if either of these is an improvement?... When the love of his life loses her memory of their courtship a week before the wedding, a rough around the edges guy?s guy must persuade two icy bridesmaids to help him romance his brRead more

    Thanks so much for your comments, they have been very helpful. Let me know if either of these is an improvement?…
    When the love of his life loses her memory of their courtship a week before the wedding, a rough around the edges guy?s guy must persuade two icy bridesmaids to help him romance his bride to the altar.
    or…
    When the love of his life loses her memory of their courtship, a rough around the edges guy?s guy pulls out all the romantic stops to persuade her to go through with the wedding just days away.

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  3. Posted: May 24, 2015In:

    Extraterrestrial monsters destroy humanity, save for an obstinate survivalist who vows revenge.

    sloanpeterson Logliner

    I like the survivalist angle you have taken. Could it maybe be a band of survivalists? Sounds like he will win but eventually be alone. I think knowing more about the main character would make me more interested. Is he an eccentric old guy? Or maybe a younger guy new to survivalist lifestyle? Or theRead more

    I like the survivalist angle you have taken. Could it maybe be a band of survivalists? Sounds like he will win but eventually be alone. I think knowing more about the main character would make me more interested. Is he an eccentric old guy? Or maybe a younger guy new to survivalist lifestyle? Or these two opposites could team up?

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