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Three childhood friends mimic the devastating dynamics of their parental relationships while in pursuit of love. For one, when love turns to deceit, the family tradition of murder is the only retribution.
This sounds interesting. I like it. It might be good to focus on your protagonist however and make it about his relationship. The story itself can obviously be about three friends but if the longline told us a bit more about how love can lead to murder and how it's traditional that might help. I'm gRead more
This sounds interesting. I like it.
It might be good to focus on your protagonist however and make it about his relationship. The story itself can obviously be about three friends but if the longline told us a bit more about how love can lead to murder and how it’s traditional that might help. I’m guessing his father killed his mother or the like.
It might also be good to mention the setting to help indicate the tone. Is it middle America, big city America (I’m assuming its set in America, it may not be).
Good luck
See lessWhen her daughter falls in love with a soldier, a mother must quickly learn to fight on the home front as those she trusted turn a blind eye to the unfolding tragedies in Iraq.
Hi, I think this is an improvement. I made a comment on your earlier post and still feel the same - the story might have greater impact and be more plausible if the soldier was her son. Good luck with your story.
Hi,
I think this is an improvement. I made a comment on your earlier post and still feel the same – the story might have greater impact and be more plausible if the soldier was her son.
Good luck with your story.
See lessA desperate bipolar woman goads her reneging boss for a radio announcing slot; unsuccessful, she must find a worth beyond achievements before she kills him and loses everything.
Well said DPG
Well said DPG
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