Categories: Horror
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A father must save his family from a haunting in their home linked to a massacre that occurred years before. With one of the original victims surviving (INCITING INCIDENT?), the father, a non-believer, down on his luck and unable to afford to move away, must play devil's advocate to the deadly unseen evil in order to? deliver the original life and save his family.
Thanks Nir. I get what you mean.
DPG, the theme is "A man realises the only way to save his family is to sacrifice his humanity by killing an innocent." the movie leads up to the murder as part of the climax chronicling the incidents that drive him to this course of action.
Agree substantially with Nir Shelter.
I like stories that pose genuine dilemmas for protagonists.? But I'm not sure that is the case here.? As Nir Shelter said, he seems to have the option? of vacating the premises, move his family out.? End of dramatic problem, end of dilemma, nobody has to die, right?? If the protagonist cannot take that option, there has to be credible reason why and I don't see what it could be.
Yes, moving out means financial disaster, the loss of every penny he's sunk into? the property, and the mortgage he is still obligated to pay off.? I can see where that delays him, but ultimately it comes to a choice between between life? (move out) and death (stay).? It's a no brainer choice, so it's not a true ethical dilemma.
Agree substantially with Nir Shelter.
I like stories that pose genuine dilemmas for protagonists.? But I'm not sure that is the case here.? As Nir Shelter said, he seems to have the option? of vacating the premises, move his family out.? End of dramatic problem, end of dilemma, nobody has to die, right?? If the protagonist cannot take that option, there has to be credible reason why and I don't see what it could be.
Yes, moving out means financial disaster, the loss of every penny he's sunk into? the property, and the mortgage he is still obligated to pay off.? I can see where that delays him, but ultimately it comes to a choice between between life? (move out) and death (stay).? It's a no brainer choice, so it's not a true ethical dilemma.
It sounds like you're trying to dramatise the concept of doing the wrong thing for the right reason - we've had many loglines for concepts trying to do the same posted in the last few months. Seems to be a trend with a few premise variations in each case, but one thing that does repeat itself is the lack of believable stakes to motivate the character to take extreme action. In your case, he must kill and the question is asked why not just move away? In order to force someone to kill, you'de have to devise a scenario that absolutely leaves him no choice, like in the War of the Worlds re make when Tom Cruze kills the crazy guy in the basement to save his daughter. And as Rivhiev mentioned, is the whole film going to be about him deliberating whether or not to kill? Or will it be about him planning the murder? Or will it be about him covering up post kill? The plot is simply not clear.
First and foremost this is too long, you have to reduce the word count for the logline to work. In doing so, you'll find that many of the descriptions are not needed, for example: the words "...young...". and "...new..." can be cut from the first sentence and the words "...experience supernatural happenings..." can be replaced with 'haunted'.
Other than that, you don't need to detail the way in which the spirit terrorizes them, just describe a threat to their lives and the subsequent action the father must take. More importantly, though, you need to describe the main character sooner in the logline and using clearer terms - is he the eldest son, father or grandfather.
A man realizes the only way to save his family is to sacrifice his own humanity by killing an innocent.
