Confined to her apt complex during a CDC quarentine Briona must find a way for her father and her lovers not to kill each other.

The story has 2 distinct dramatic problems:

There's a flu epidemic raging.
A father wants to kill his daughter's lovers.

Either one could set up a story line for a movie plot. ?But trying to combine them into one movie seems to over complicate the story line. ?It feels contrived. ?Complication for the sake of complication without a clear causal relationship between the two dramatic problems.

Further, the logline seems to confuse a complicating incident for an inciting incident.

There is no obvious cause-and-effect relationship between epidemic/quarantine and the father's murderous intent. ?Because the father would want to kill her lovers even if there was no epidemic, right? ?Because isn't the cause of his anger is his discovery of her sex life which offends his morality (I presume)?

?The epidemic is a complication, but it is ?not a cause. ?So, it's not the inciting incident. ?

What is the real inciting incident that triggers her father's murderous rage? ?Whatever it is, that is what should lead off the logline.

?

The story has 2 distinct dramatic problems:

There's a flu epidemic raging.
A father wants to kill his daughter's lovers.

Either one could set up a story line for a movie plot. ?But trying to combine them into one movie seems to over complicate the story line. ?It feels contrived. ?Complication for the sake of complication without a clear causal relationship between the two dramatic problems.

Further, the logline seems to confuse a complicating incident for an inciting incident.

There is no obvious cause-and-effect relationship between epidemic/quarantine and the father's murderous intent. ?Because the father would want to kill her lovers even if there was no epidemic, right? ?Because isn't the cause of his anger is his discovery of her sex life which offends his morality (I presume)?

?The epidemic is a complication, but it is ?not a cause. ?So, it's not the inciting incident. ?

What is the real inciting incident that triggers her father's murderous rage? ?Whatever it is, that is what should lead off the logline.

?

I am not sure I get this story.

What does the lead character actually want? Why are we rooting for the lead character to succeed?