Denied life insurance benefits after her partner dies, an unemployed chef must unravel a diabolical link between the insurance company, a genetic testing company, and a popular internet search engine before she and her unborn child become their next victims.

Okay, so this doesn't read as good as it could, and there's a lot of elements being juggled, but...

I'll admit I came here to read everyone's comments because the story intrigued me. Seems like a facinating story. Good luck with it.

As the others have said:? too many moving parts.

Also I would point out that a logline is written from the pov of the protagonist.? That is, it is a statement of what the protagonist seeks to accomplish -- his objective goal -- based upon what he knows at the time he commits to that goal?(by the end of the 1st Act).

Taking this logline at face value, it suggests that after the insurance death benefits are denied, the chef acts knowing that the reason involves a link between the insurance company and genetic testing company and a the internet search engine.? He just has to find the missing clues.

But I'm guessing that the plot is about the chef discovering the link between the three in the process of trying to accomplish something else.? These 3 seemingly disconnected elements are? pieces of a puzzle the chef discovers and then has to piece together.?

Which is okay for the script proper.? But not for the logline. The logline should be written in terms of the objective goal/course of action the chef takes based upon the knowledge he initially knows.? That action leads to the discovery of the pieces and the connections among them.

fwiw

As the others have said:? too many moving parts.

Also I would point out that a logline is written from the pov of the protagonist.? That is, it is a statement of what the protagonist seeks to accomplish -- his objective goal -- based upon what he knows at the time he commits to that goal?(by the end of the 1st Act).

Taking this logline at face value, it suggests that after the insurance death benefits are denied, the chef acts knowing that the reason involves a link between the insurance company and genetic testing company and a the internet search engine.? He just has to find the missing clues.

But I'm guessing that the plot is about the chef discovering the link between the three in the process of trying to accomplish something else.? These 3 seemingly disconnected elements are? pieces of a puzzle the chef discovers and then has to piece together.?

Which is okay for the script proper.? But not for the logline. The logline should be written in terms of the objective goal/course of action the chef takes based upon the knowledge he initially knows.? That action leads to the discovery of the pieces and the connections among them.

fwiw