Categories: Horror
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kcguru:
Your latest version is probably good enough.? But as I am an an OCD nit picker, I am inclined to suggest a slightly more concise version, like:
When a small town is attacked by zombie deer, an underachieving park ranger searches for a cure while fighting to save the townspeople from becoming an endangered species.
(28 words versus 32 words)
The enthusiastic trainee may be unnecessary for the logline unless, perhaps, you are playing the story as a dark comedy horror in which case the relationship between the two would be an important source of comic relief. I kind of see it as a comedy-horror flick, a parody of the trope, because of the "Bambi goes Beserk" twist/hook, innocent looking deer are an endangering species, not an endangered one.
As for cutting out "keeping themselves"-- it goes without saying they want to save themselves. So it need not be said.
Whatever.? Zombie deer is a killer concept.?? This is a film I would definitely want to see.? Very best wishes.
kcguru:
Your latest version is probably good enough.? But as I am an an OCD nit picker, I am inclined to suggest a slightly more concise version, like:
When a small town is attacked by zombie deer, an underachieving park ranger searches for a cure while fighting to save the townspeople from becoming an endangered species.
(28 words versus 32 words)
The enthusiastic trainee may be unnecessary for the logline unless, perhaps, you are playing the story as a dark comedy horror in which case the relationship between the two would be an important source of comic relief. I kind of see it as a comedy-horror flick, a parody of the trope, because of the "Bambi goes Beserk" twist/hook, innocent looking deer are an endangering species, not an endangered one.
As for cutting out "keeping themselves"-- it goes without saying they want to save themselves. So it need not be said.
Whatever.? Zombie deer is a killer concept.?? This is a film I would definitely want to see.? Very best wishes.
Couple of tweaks with all your great feedback, how does this sound:
?
When a small town is terrorized by zombie deer, an underachieving Park Ranger and her enthusiastic trainee search for a cure while keeping themselves and the townspeople from becoming the endangered species.
This reads great to me. Nice work. I would maybe think about an a description for 'Trainee' as well. Something like 'inept trainee' or 'over-eager trainee' whatever you had in mind for that character. I also like the idea that they might be 'zombie reindeer' :) instead of regular deers. Reindeer's a generally bigger and more intimidating animals in the wild I believe.
I'm with dpg. The words zombie deer NEED to be in your logline!
When a small town is terrorised by zombie deer...
Loving it!
>>zombie deer
There's your story hook. A must-have phrase in your logline and pitch.
Also, why not switch roles, make the park ranger a woman, the trainee a guy?? It's the age of #MeToo and #TimesUp now.
