Categories: Comedy
Title: Bunco Night
This rewrite includes a new inciting incident that raises stakes a bit. What do you think??
Agree with mikepedley85 that the tasering could be the tipping point provocation, the one that triggers the woman to plot a coup .? And it's the culmination of a series of offenses inflicted by the HOA honcho on others, not just the antagonist.? That is necessary in order to motivate others to become co-conspirators.
Agree with mikepedley85 that the tasering could be the tipping point provocation, the one that triggers the woman to plot a coup .? And it's the culmination of a series of offenses inflicted by the HOA honcho on others, not just the antagonist.? That is necessary in order to motivate others to become co-conspirators.
Why only threaten? Why not go all out and have him actually taser the dog? Reverse Save the Cat moment = instant villain!
Not sure you need the "during the neighbourhood's...." line at the end.
When the vile HOA President tasers her dog, a shy soccer mom stages a coup to take him down. (19 words)
