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A schizophrenic young woman lives in constant suspicion of her life being surveilled and manipulated. A seemingly endless witch hunt for the truth takes place as she can’t seem to trust anyone.
"..as she can't seem to trust anyone" seems repetitive after her "living in constant suspicion".........which tells us about her circumstances. It doesn't clears up the INCITING INCIDENT Also, what is the nature of this "seemingly endless witch hunt for the truth". Isn't that what most thrillers areRead more
“..as she can’t seem to trust anyone” seems repetitive after her “living in constant suspicion”………which tells us about her circumstances. It doesn’t clears up the INCITING INCIDENT
Also, what is the nature of this “seemingly endless witch hunt for the truth”. Isn’t that what most thrillers are about? A layer of misdirection as a tool to direct attention.
Finally as a result of your Inciting incident, what becomes her objective GOAL?
The premise is an interesting one but lacks specificity
Good Luck
See lessA tragic traffic accident changes the course of 3 characters who passionately pursue morally unacceptable loves. – Amores Perros (Love’s a bitch)
Loglining a plot with multiple protagonist requires specification of a unifying theme which becomes: "passionate pursuit of morally unacceptable love" Which sounds great to me! And the title is refreshing Can you clarify more on what becomes their objective goal as a result of this tragic accident "Read more
Loglining a plot with multiple protagonist requires specification of a unifying theme which becomes: “passionate pursuit of morally unacceptable love” Which sounds great to me! And the title is refreshing
Can you clarify more on what becomes their objective goal as a result of this tragic accident
“..changes the course of..” can be dropped
Suggested Format —
When a traffic accident makes “three characters” realize that their passionate pursuit of love is morally unacceptable, they must [achieve this goal]
good luck!
See lessWhen a disillusioned married woman is absorbed by a surrealist painting, she struggles to develop the power to free herself from the painting before becoming part of it, while falling in love with a man of painting.
It's a really interesting thought by Richiev -- inciting incident being bigger than the goal Ok. This is a logline with superb potential. Maybe introduce a ticking clock; people trapped in his paintings get frozen after a day. It would be cool if the painter practiced the dark "arts" and trapped peoRead more
It’s a really interesting thought by Richiev — inciting incident being bigger than the goal
Ok. This is a logline with superb potential. Maybe introduce a ticking clock; people trapped in his paintings get frozen after a day. It would be cool if the painter practiced the dark “arts” and trapped people in his paintings…maybe that’s why his paintings are so surreal and realistic!! – “When his wife goes missing in a surrealistic exhibition…”
See lessgood luck